Craptacular

A few Sundays ago Harrison and I went to visit my parents. Lots of my siblings and their kids go to Grandma and Grandpa’s on Sunday evenings, so it is often quite a party. On this particular night, after dinner, my 8 year old niece Asia told us we were going to play a game. We weren’t given a choice in the matter. She was so determined that she actually cleared off the dinner table, if that tells you anything. As we dawdled around the table, she came and got each of us one by one and bodily escorted us to our assigned seats. She eventually had to hoist my 7 foot brother in law over her shoulder to get to him join the circle, as she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

The game of the day was “FACT or CRAP”. We all agreed it was a dumb name. Why couldn't they have called it “Fact or Fiction”, or “True or False”? But even though we all decided not to call it by that stupid name, somehow the Crap stuck (as crap always does) and we couldn’t get away from it.

We were each given voting cards attached to popsicle sticks: one side of the card read “FACT” and the other read “CRAP.” Harrison kept walking off with my Dad’s stick who would then say “Where’s my Crap Stick?” We each took turns reading various statements off of cards, and then we all got to vote with our crap sticks whether we thought the statement was fact or crap. My dad was always sure he knew the answers (of course, he almost always did) and when one came up he knew was false he would say something like “I’m going to Crap-O-Reno this one!”

I learned lots of completely useless stuff, such as the fascinating little fact that Elizabeth Taylor has been married at least 8 times; but most of the statements were so obscure as to be ridiculous. For example the following: “A ‘passage’ is a movement in equestrian dressage.” I thought I must just be out of the loop in horse fashions or something. Needless to say, none of us got than one right, but all of us had a good time.

And thus we see, that when an 8 year old tells you what to do, you best do it, before the crap hits the fan. (I don't know why the crap hits the fan. I just wanted to find a way to use that phrase and that was the best I could do.)